Underclassed
By: K. A. Maxwell

I groaned as my alarm clock went off with a buzz. I dragged myself and stumbled into the bathroom, wincing as the cold tile floor bit into my bare feet. With a sigh, I turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up while I brushed my teeth. I live in a modern home and it still takes forever to get hot water.

When I opened up the blinds, the view was like something coming out of a sci-fi movie. The City of Brahma sprawled out on the horizon. Its towering skyscrapers glistened in the early morning sun. The city’s skyline was a mixture of weird shapes and colors against the clear sky. The river that divided downtown from the outskirts of Brahma was a clean and shiny ribbon of blue. The bridge sliced the east and west side of the city. Below the bridge, its transparent walkway gave pedestrians a dizzying view. From my window, I stared at the mix of aliens going about their daily business on the streets below. Some had many limbs, others had iridescent skin, too many to count. Then I looked up, way up, to the incredible sight of vehicles and people zipping through the air.

They soared with wings sprouting from their backs. Others glided on sleek hoverboards. Jetpacks propelled a few lucky individuals with controlled bursts of fire. And then you had people who flew in the air on their own. It was like they came straight out of a superhero movie.

All those times I tried to fly like that when I was younger on Earth. Then you get to this planet, this city, and see this. It’s not fair. I can’t fly like them.

The sun that hung in the sky didn’t give me superpowers unlike popular aliens in comic books. I’m just Thane Phillips, a normal fourteen-year-old human living on Planet Neerg.

I had no superpowers.

I was nothing special.

It was my first day of high school and I couldn’t help but feel nervous at all this. How would I even do at a school with advanced beings with powers?

I stared at my new school uniform that hung in my closet. On Earth, I used to go to a public school where I could wear whatever I wanted. I’d throw on a cool t-shirt, jeans, sneakers and jacket and head out. The uniform was a long sleeve shirt with pants or a skirt depending on the gender identity.

“Thane? Are you up yet?” called my mom, Isabelle. She was forty-two with long brown hair and bright green eyes. Her figure was curvy but fit due to her love of running every morning before work. Right now, she found work as a freelance writer. “Yeah,” I replied. I got my uniform on with shoes and walked into our small kitchen. The smell of scrambled eggs and bacon filled the air, making my stomach growl in anticipation. “So you’re ready for your first day, Son?” asked Darrin, my forty-six-year-old dad. He placed down a cup of coffee on the table. He had black hair and blue eyes, standing tall at six feet. He also stayed in shape by working out.

He managed to land a job as a project manager at a big company and today was his first day on the job.

“I don’t know, Dad,” I said. “Remember when we first made it through the wormhole?”

My mom giggled. “I do. That was quite the adventure.”

We were part of a space program run by private space back on Earth. They were testing a new drive system that allowed for interplanetary travel. My dad entered us into the lottery for that and he won. Only ten families were chosen.

The deal was, once we made it back, we would have been paid a lot of money, like a million dollars. My dad had already been struggling to make ends meet.

At the time, I didn’t have many friends because most of them moved away after junior high. The way I saw it, we didn’t have a whole lot to lose and all the sci-fi movies made it look cool.

We were supposed to go as far as Jupiter. But instead, our ship along with nine others got sucked into a wormhole. At that moment, as streaks of lights flashed by, my body stretched out like spaghetti. I thought I was going to die. I blacked out.

Moments later, when my mom woke us up, we arrived at a new planet: Neerg. It was sixty-eight billion lightyears away from Earth, or that’s what they told us at least.

They even spoke English here too. How? Universal translators the size of a button.

When we got down to the surface, the sheer variety of aliens overwhelmed us. The planet had everything from catgirls to androids to tentacled monsters in suits. They all had similar traits as us.

Even then, we couldn’t find any other humans around the place where we landed.

“It was quick,” said Dad. “But that will take way too long to get back.” Mom squeezed Dad’s shoulder. “Hon, there’s always hope. This planet has extraordinary things well ahead of our time.” She turned to a microphone on the wall. “Hey Steve, make me a cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows.”

“Getting it ready,” said Steve. A cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows came up from below the counter. It wasn’t like a replicator. Those we couldn’t afford.

My dad shook his head. “But they couldn’t find that wormhole we came out of. It disappeared into thin air after we arrived.”

I swallowed hard. “What if we can’t--”

Before I could finish asking, Mom cut me off. “Thane, there’s no use dwelling on what might be. Let’s focus on making the best of things here, right now, hum?” She kissed me on my forehead. Mom was the optimist and Dad was the realist. When things looked bad, it was always Mom who could lighten the mood.

It’s surreal not seeing people of your race anymore. Forget racism, now you had to worry about people who were not even your own species.

With a deep sigh, I finished eating my breakfast and grabbed my backpack. As I walked outside, the sun hit my face. There was some beauty in this strange new world that no human has gone before. But I wasn’t all that excited to be in this smorgasbord of science fiction proven fact.

I hopped onto the school hoverbus. When I got on, everyone looked at me funny. Most of the kids here knew about humans and whatnot but they never saw one in real life. There were a few who tried to approach me, asking questions about Earth.

“So, we watched some movies, is it true you use fossil fuels to power your airplanes?” asked one kid who was a Skrelp. A Skrelp was a blue humanoid creature covered in scales. It’s able to breathe underwater and live for centuries if they don’t get killed. “Uh, yeah, mostly,” I answered.

He laughed, “Wow, how primitive. Our ships run on ionized plasma thrusters. It’s much faster and cleaner.”

Another kid chimed in, “Hey, aren’t humans supposed to be really good at sports? I watched this sport where you used a wooden stick and swung at a ball. What was it called?” I snickered, “Baseball? No, we weren’t really known for that. Football maybe?” “You earthlings have too many different types of Football. We just kick a round ball into a goal.”

“Oh, you mean Soccer.”

Everyone seemed surprised. “Really? You call that ‘Soccer?’ Humans are weirder than I thought.”

I frowned. “Half of Earth calls soccer, football. The east side of the planet, I think.”

“That sounds complicated if people call the same sport different names. They should just use a universal translator like we do,” said another kid. “Maybe,” I agreed.

As the bus ride continued, I glanced around. To my right, sat a girl who looked like she belonged on a magazine cover. Her skin was smooth, pale pink with two elegant horns sprouting from her forehead. Her eyes were large and round, filled with curiosity. Beside her sat a boy with grayish-blue skin and pointed ears. His fingers twitched as he listened to music coming from tiny earbuds. When the bus finally got to the school, I followed the crowd of students filing out. The building loomed ahead of me, its spires reaching up towards the skyline. Students milled about, chatting . Above us, giant screens displayed schedules and announcements in many languages. A teacher approached me, her voice calm and reassuring. “Hello, you must be Thane Phillips.” “How did you know my name?” I asked her.

“You’re the only human, so it was easy to spot you,” she said. “Welcome to Dlareme Spectrum High School. I am Miss Fraya, your onboard teacher. Follow me, please.” Miss Fraya led me to my homeroom. As I took my seat, the amount of people staring made me shiver. But once I sat, I took a breath and calmed myself. Then, someone tapped my shoulder. A girl, purple colored with four antennae poking out of her head, leaned forward. Her blue eyes widened.

“You are a unique specimen,” she declared in perfect English. “I’m Eris.” “Um, hi,” I replied.

“You’re a hooman, right?” she said, smiling like a cheshire cat.

“Yeah, I’m Thane,” I said, deciding to roll with it. “Why do you ask?”

“A hooman, you are!” she exclaimed excitedly. “Never met a hooman before! Can I touch your hair?”

I hesitated for a moment, but she reached out and ran her finger through my messy brown hair.

“Hum, it’s puffier than I thought,” she murmured. “Can I touch your ears?”

Before I could protest, she grabbed hold of my ears and yanked them apart. I winced as she examined them closely.

“They’re curvier than I imagined,” she commented. “And your nose, it’s not what I pictured. I thought it’d be flatter like the ones I saw in movies.”

The bell rang, signaling the end of homeroom. The other students stood up and filed out. As I stood up, Eris blocked my exit and poked me. “I have so many plans, Hooman. You will assist me in my first experiment soon.” Her antenna glowed and she floated off down the hallway. I rubbed my aching ears and sighed. Being the center of attention wasn’t exactly how I imagined my first day would go. But hey, at least I had made one friend, I think.

“Why did you let her touch you like that?”

I turned around to see a tall boy with a furry beard and brown eyes and a pair of horns on his head.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“I am Alexander Goethal, but you can call me Alex,” he said, arching an eyebrow. “And I asked why did you let her touch you like that?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care,” I muttered, turning away from him.

“That’s a ba-aa-d excuse,” he said, stepping closer. He was tall with hooves for feet and hoof-fingers. He had a pair of horns and a large nose. I think they called his race “Gotefalk” which sounded like “Goat Folks.”

Maybe a lot of these species came from Earth millions of years ago and evolved into this.

“Fair enough,” said Alex. “Just watch yourself around her. She gets attached to people quickly.”

“Really?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“She doesn’t get the concept of personal space no matter how much we try to teach her,” he explained.

“Okay, thanks for the warning.”

Alex nodded and shifted his tie. “We should get to the gym for the school assembly.”

“Oh, you have those here too?” I said.

“Of course. Everything we need to prepare for battle is here. After all, space is a warzone.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Wait, what? A warzone?”

Alex grinned. “Oh yes, Thane. This galaxy is full of danger and action at every turn. Even here on Neerg, there are factions vying for control. Don’t let your guard down, ‘Hooman’. You never know when you might need to fight for survival.”

I paused, but then, hang on, he called me “Hooman.”

“You’re joking,” I accused Alex.

Alex laughed. “You’re so gullible.”

“Whatever,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

Alex clapped me on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s get to the gym. Maybe we’ll get lucky and witness a fight break out during the assembly.”

I sighed, following him down the hallway as my first day of my highschool life began in earnest.

The gymnasium was packed with students and staff for the first school assembly of the year. At the front of the gym, a stage had been set up with a podium and microphones. Teachers, Professors and administrators took their seats.

I spotted Eris in the stands sitting next to someone I hadn’t seen before. She whispered something to another girl. She was shorter with green skin, spikes on her forehead and greenish-blonde hair. The two of them exchanged knowing looks before turning their attention back to me. And they giggled.

Great, just great, more attention. Next to me, Alex cleared his throat. “Looks like it’s already begun between you and her.”

“What are you talking about?” I grumbled, glancing over at them again. “Don’t play dumb with me, Hooman,” he retorted. “I can see the sparks flying between you two.” I rolled my eyes. “If you say so. We can all depend on your accurate love-electric-vision.” Alex snorted. “Sarcasm won’t win you the day.”

The principal stepped up to the mic, causing the buzz of conversation to die down. “Welcome, everyone, to the first school assembly of the year,” he began. “Today, we have some important announcements to make.” His name was Mr. Huxley, a tall man with bronze skin-scales and black hair. He was an Arijog, a dragon-like race that was a cross between humans and dragons, at least from what I can tell. When he laughed, flames shot out of his mouth to the excitement of the upper-year students.

“Mua ha ha ha ha!” he laughed. “This year, you will feast on more than thirty sports teams. And the biggest event will be the legendary Intergalactic Games.”

There was a collective gasp from the audience. The Intergalactic Games was a competition held once every three years between the top schools from across the galaxy. Winning meant not only bragging rights but also access to resources otherwise unavailable. “Our school will take part in this prestigious event,” continued Mr. Huxley. “Soon, we’ll select our team based on your unique talents and abilities. It will fall upon you to represent Dlareme Spectrum High in this competition. With your effort, we will burn our competition to the ground! Mua ha ha ha ha!” As he spoke, images from previous tournaments flashed on the screen. Alien creatures engaged in intense battles, displaying incredible speed, agility, and strength. Some armed with weapons unlike anything I had seen before. Then, you had others fighting with nothing but their bare hands, tails or eye beams. I gulped, sports back on Earth were physical, but this was on a whole other level. “Now, to introduce new teachers who are starting this year at Dlareme Spectrum High School. First, please give a warm welcome to Professor Rustic!” shouted Mr. Huxley. A petite woman with fiery red hair and matching eyes strutted onto the stage. She was clad in a tight leather vest and fitted trousers. Her movements were graceful, almost dancelike.

“Professor Rustic will be the lead combat trainer,” announced Mr. Huxley. “She comes from one of the finest fighting academies in the galaxy.” “Thank you, Principal Huxley,” said Professor Rustic with a smile. Then she pulled out a sword from thin air. It gleamed in the light, sending shivers down my spine. “Now, who wants to learn how to use a blade?” she asked, her voice ringing out loud and clear. Hands shot up immediately, including mine.

“I see, well, it isn’t as easy as waving it around,” she remarked, putting away the sword. “There is an art to combat that’s learned. Combat is a dance of movement, precision and elegance.” To demonstrate, Professor Rustic moved across the stage. She spun and ducked in ways that shouldn’t be possible for a person. Her flexibility made it look like she was liquid itself. “Focus, Hooman,” interrupted Alex, nudging me. “She’s too dangerous for you.” I blushed, embarrassed by my lapse in concentration. But, I couldn’t deny that Professor Rustic was captivating in her own way. There was an undeniable charm to her presence, even if it meant she’d slice me into pieces without breaking a sweat.

“Next is Professor Shadowblaze,” announced Mr. Huxley. A hush fell over the crowd as a tall, muscular man strode onto the stage. His skin was pitch-black, almost like obsidian, and his eyes were a piercing silver color. Around his neck hung a cloak adorned with symbols that seemed to pulse with energy. Mr. Huxley introduced Professor Shadowblaze as the new teacher for magic and sorcery. His classroom was located in the basement of the school, through a hidden door. Some say that his classes involved blood sacrifices or summoning demonic entities. Whatever it was, it must be pretty crazy to keep it secret like that. “The Dark Elves also known as Drows” whispered Alex. “Most of them are mysterious and powerful. I heard they can manipulate darkness itself.” “Manipulate darkness? Like Batman?” “Who’s Batman?”

“I’m-- nevermind,” I said, shaking my head.

“The next new instructor to join our team is Professor Skyfire,” announced Mr. Huxley. Into the spotlight strolled a woman dressed in bright colored robes. Her hair cascaded down her back in a rainbow of colors. She floated above the floor, her feet skimming the surface. As she approached the microphone, tendrils of fire appeared around her hands.

Mr. Huxley introduced Professor Skyfire as the new teacher for elemental studies. She would be responsible for training students in forms of manipulating elements like fire, ice, wind, and lightning.

“I want to meet her after class,” I whispered to myself. Fire magic was always impressive to watch. I always wondered if it was possible to shoot fireworks. Plus, having a pyrokinetic teacher would come in handy during winter months on Earth.

That is, if I could get back to Earth. “Last but not least, Professor Starkiller joins us today,” concluded Mr. Huxley. A hush descended upon the audience as a tall, imposing figure stepped onto the stage. Its skin was a metallic gray, like polished steel, and its form resembled a robot or cyborg.

“Professor Starkiller will be teaching defense tactics and weapon handling,” announced Mr. Huxley. “Students, pay close attention because this class will save your lives one day.” Professor Starkiller approached the mic and the entire student population went silent. “My classroom has state-of-the-art training facilities,” it said in a synthesized voice. “Your safety is paramount. Do not attempt any stunts outside of class hours. Otherwise, I will come and find you.” A collective gulp washed through the student population.

Mr. Huxley cleared his throat. “And now, I want to bring up all first-year students to the front of the stage.”

I groaned, guess that means I had to go up there too. With reluctance, I made my way to the front of the gym alongside hundreds of other freshmen.

“Hallo Hooman!!!” Eris called out with a voice more than loud enough to get everyone’s attention. “I want to experiment with you!” She waved at me from the other side of the freshmen crowd. At that point, all eyes turned to me, the only human at Dlareme Spectrum High. Some people had one eye, some a pair of eyes, others with many pairs of eyes. There were aliens with tentacles, furries with scales, insectoids with mandibles, and a few that I couldn’t even begin to describe. They looked at me expectantly, burning my image into their minds.

“So much for going incognito,” I mumbled under my breath.

My first class was the fundamentals of science and magic taught by Professor Oren. He was a tall Bunnin with large round ears and a bushy tail. As we entered the classroom, some enchanting incantations etched onto the blackboard. Each symbol represented a concept or principle related to basic magic. Some were familiar, like runes representing fire and ice. Others were completely foreign to me. “Good morning,” said Professor Oren. “Today we’ll be discussing the basics of elemental magic.” He pointed at the symbols on the board. “Let’s start with these symbols,” he said. “Each one represents a fundamental aspect of magic. For example, this symbol here represents air.” He gestured and a gentle breeze blew through the room, rustling through our hair and clothes. As he moved to the next symbol, a flame appeared hovering in mid-air. “Fire,” he said, snuffing it out with a wave of his hand. “And this one,” he continued, pointing at a symbol that resembled a drop of water, “Represents water.” With a snap of his fingers, a stream of water shot up from the ground and encircled us before dissipating. “Cool,” said Alex, admiring the display of magic. “Elemental magic is one of the most basic forms of magic, but also one of the most versatile.

He then proceeded to explain the differences between active and passive magic. Active magic requires effort and concentration to channel energy into action. Passive magic allows spontaneous manipulation of environmental factors around oneself. “I want you to pair up and look through the section starting on page twenty-three,” said Professor Oren. “Then find three examples of practical uses for each element.” As I got up to find a partner, a purple glow grabbed my hand and pulled me over. “You’re with me Hooman,” said Eris, who I missed somehow. How the hell did I miss her? Her pink and purple skin with four antennae stood out among the crowd like a sore thumb. “But we’re not partners,” I protested. “Details, details,” she waved her hand dismissively. “Now get over here and let’s work on my latest experiment.”

I followed Iris to a corner of the room where she had set up a small workspace. Bottles of ingredients and tools laid out in rows. Before I asked what she’s doing, she began explaining the experiment, complete with charts, graphs, and diagrams. She wanted to make a magical amplifier spell. If she succeeded, that would allow her to tap into and control vast amounts of magical energy. It could make her one of the most powerful beings in existence. Or so she says.

I spotted her textbook. If I reach and hit her with it, I can knock some sense back into her. I lunged forward using my athletic skill, but the book glowed and floated out of my reach.

“Hey Hooman, stop daydreaming and focus,” Eris slapped me hard across the shoulder. “We’ve got work to do.” I rubbed my shoulder and glared at her. “I should tell you the same thing. Besides, I can’t concentrate when you keep hitting me.” “Oh ho ho,” She laughed . “Touchy, touchy, remember who’s in charge here, Hooman.” Despite my dislike for her, working with her might give me insight into her true motives. She floated another book in front of me.

“Now this is real magic.” The book: Magical Potential: A Guide for Aspiring Mages, was written by Professor Oren himself. I flipped through the pages, marveling at the scribblings and symbols. This book must have been priceless. I eyed Eris with suspicion. “Where’d you get this book?”

She smirked . “Oh, I borrowed it from the professor himself!” “He let you borrow that book?”

“Mmm... he wouldn’t mind. After all, he trusts me the most with his research,” she said. I shook my head in disbelief. Trust her with his research? No way.

Eris licked her fingers as she turned page after page until she found what she was looking for. “Here we are. What we need to do is concentrate and sync our energies. Then, we release them at the same time to create a massive surge of power in us.” “It’s our first day with school, why do you want to mess with that much power?” I asked. “Risk is part of the process, my hooman helpmate.” she said. “And we’re about to hit the jackpot. Now, do as I say.” Against my better judgment, I complied with her orders. I focused my energy and prepared to release it at her command. I didn’t even know what type of energy she meant. But then, the book began to glow. Then, an energy aura appeared around my body. Wow, this was unbelievable!

“Release!” commanded Eris, her voice echoing throughout the room. I released my energy, joining forces with hers. Together, we created a powerful explosion of light and sound that knocked us both off our feet. When we came to, the table had been burnt to the ground and the professor’s book was now a pile of ash.

I looked at Eris, half expecting her to be pleased with the result. Instead, she looked furious. “This is impossible!” she raged. “The equations didn’t account for such a reaction! We need more data, more experiments, to understand what happened.” “What equations?” I asked her, dusting off myself.

“The ones in my head! Ugh, Drabnoids! Why can’t science and magic mix?” “Because they don’t and need professional-level skills to even attempt it?”

“Eh,” grumbled Eris. “Building up the experience points needed requires careful observation and analysis. This is something hoomans tend to struggle with while playing RPGs.” “Hey, I thought I was the first human you met,” I said. “And we’re not in a game.”

“That’s what you think.” challenged Eris. “You screwed up due to a gaming bug. You’re forgiven, Hooman.”

“Will you stop that? It wasn’t my fault.”

“Ahem.” Eris and I turned around. Professor Oren approached us running his paw-fingers through the remains of his book. “Interesting results,” he mused. “Although I don’t think you should be doing advanced experiments in-class.” Professor Oren’s long ear twitched.

“It was an accident, sir,” I pleaded. “We didn’t mean to destroy your book.” “Destroy my book?” He repeated, raising an eyebrow. “That was my book?”

“He meant to say that we tested its durability,” said Eris. “Testing the strength of the imitation Saskatchewan seal book bindings and paper.” “Is that right? So, explain to me the results of your test,”

I gulped. “We failed.” Eris slapped my shoulder again. “Don’t be a fatalist, Hooman! We only took the first step of exploring the depths of science and magic. There is so much to play and discover. No one beats a video game in a day, you know?” “But, video games give you a lot of extra lives. We only get one life, you know?”

“Then we’ll make extra lives through the magic of science and the science of magic! Professor, we’ll be your ultimate apprentices. We will fail nine-thousand and one times before we get an epic success. What doesn’t kill us will make us magical-science-er.”

The professor considered this for a moment before breaking into light chuckles. “Okay,” he said, clapping his hands together. “You’re right, failure is necessary for growth.”

“I’m glad you see it my way!” chirped Eris and nudged me. “See Hooman, the professor sees my potential.”

“My name isn’t Hooman,” I protested.

“The point is, we should embrace failure and use it as a stepping stone towards success.” “Sounds like a plan,” agreed Professor Oren. “Since you two seem to have an interest in this area of education. Would you like to do more work in it?” Eris perked up. “We’d love to help!” “Good,” said Professor Oren. “I have just the task for the two of you.”

That task, as it turned out, happened after school, back in class. Eris and I were both in detention for destroying his book and a corner of the class. Now we were stuck cleaning up the mess among other things.

“So,” began Professor Oren, leaning against his desk and eating a carrot. “Since you two plunged into creative magic science, I thought it would be nice for you to experience its consequences firsthand.” “Consequences?” I asked, feeling uneasy. “Yes,” he replied. “Magic and power are not tools for entertainment or convenience. It has great responsibility and danger. Those who wield them risk harm to themselves and others around them.” I used a broom to sweep the charred pieces of table. Eris levitated in the air, humming and channeled her telekinesis to move stuff around.

Damn it Eris, I haven’t even known you a day and you’re just happy being a conductor of chaos.

“Now then,” Professor Oren continued. “After cleaning this room, I’ll have you reorganize the chemistry lab. You will do that without using any powers.” “The whole thing?” Asked Eris, raising her eyebrows. “Even the stockrooms?” “Every single surface, including the ceiling tiles,” confirmed the professor. “Magic and power use are not allowed.” “But I won’t be able to do my experiments tonight,” whined Eris.

A couple other students walked in. At least we won’t be cleaning alone. One of them was a stocky brown haired orc who pulled out a portable gaming console. The other was a chubby pure white skinned and black haired female, um, what was she? She had been staring at his gaming screen as he walked in.

“That game looks boring as hell,” she said. “Why not get a game that actually pushed the hardware?”

“Because it would drain the batteries faster,” said the Orc.

She rolled her eyes, but then noticed us. “Hey, we got new faces here.”

“Yes, and you all will be on clean-up duty,” said Prof. Oren They groaned.

“I was about to get that gold-level achievement,” said the Orc.

Oren held out his hand and confiscated the gaming console. “Hopefully you can concentrate on cleaning instead of gaming and gossip. As for you two, Humility is an important lesson to learn. Now, don’t leave until I get back, yes?” Professor Oren stepped out of the classroom leaving me, Eris and the two other students.

The girl walked over to us, oh god, she was the complete opposite to Eris having more curves and much bigger breasts. Then she smiled at us which showed off her sharp fangs. “What are you two in for?” she asked.

“A failed experiment,” Eris replied. “We were trying to create a magic amplifier.” “We were?” I asked. “Of course we were!” she barked.

“Oh cool,” the girl said. “You have to be careful with those. Let me guess, you forgot to break a magic symbol loop when the light temperature was at 5000K?” Eris smacked a desk. “Flargranutsoids! I knew I forgot about light colors.”

“Um, Flargnut-what-now?” I asked.

“I think she meant Flagrant Disregard for Magic Safety Protocols,” explained the Orc. “Or FDMSP for short.” “That’s not what I said! I swore, you Parsniopoid!” The Orc grunted, pulled out his phone and loaded a game app.

“Anyways, my name is Melanie,” said the other girl. “And this gamer nerd here is Thorn.” Thorn grunted in acknowledgment.

Melanle looked at me like a piece of meat. “And you, are a human, aren’t you?”

“He is a Hooman!” Eris declared.

I cleared my throat. “Yes, I’m human.” “I knew I smelled new blood.”

“Blood?” “Sure, I tasted many kinds of blood. There’s the salty metallic taste of an Orc like this one, the sweet nutty taste of a Pixie, and the bitter tang of a Demon. Arijogs’ blood is spicy depending on how often they use their fire. If I’m really in the mood, I’d drink the blood of a siren, it has a fruity flavor, kind of like wine.” I took a step back. “Wh—what are you?”

Melanie stepped forward. “Come on, you have to know what I am: a Vampire,” she purred and licked her lips. “Your kind usually call us Nightwalkers or Bloodsuckers.”

“Wait, vampires are real? The Sun’s out. You should be burnt to a crisp.” I said. Melanie placed her hands on her hips and sighed. “Way to ruin the moment, of course vampires are real you lunkhead. We’re as real as you are. And no, we don’t burn that easily. Those Earth TV shows taught you wrong.”

I looked at Melanie, then at Thorn and Eris. Melanie and Eris exchanged glances, then burst into laughter. Once the laughing subsided, Melanie introduced herself properly. “My full name is Melanie Cwen,” she said proudly. “And I am the captain of the school’s cheerleading squad and gossip columnist for the school paper.” “Captain of the cheerleaders and a vampire?” I blurted out. “That doesn’t make any sense.” Melanie raised an eyebrow. “What doesn’t make sense? Maybe it’s more that some humans are not up with the times. Oh, and you can call me Mel if you want.” “Melly!” Eris taunted.

Melanie glared at Eris, “Yes, you may call me Melly, but only if you behave yourself, Pinky.” “Oh really?” Challenge flashed in Eris’s eyes. “Ya really.” Melanie grinned menacingly. “Maybe I’ll experiment on you.”

Eris grinned evilly. “Not if I experiment on you first.”

They both made more and more evil smiles at each other as if they were planning some nefarious deeds.

I wished I was somewhere far, far away from these two.

But then I’d get into even more trouble with Professor Oren.

Let’s see, get in more trouble with a professor of magic or be in the presence of two of the most evil looking witch aliens ever. That’s a very tough call.

I shimmied towards Thorn allowing the two wicked ladies to face off against each other. If they destroyed each other, then the entire school would be at peace.

“So, um, Thorn,” I called out.

Thorn grunted, his large fingers tapping his phone.

“What game are you playing?”

Thorn looked up at me, his eyes squinting in confusion. “Uhh, I’m playing Hell’s Paradise.” “Oh, like the old PC shooting game?” Thorn nodded. “Old but gold.” I sat down beside him and watched as he navigated the game. It was definitely different from modern shooters, this one was all pixels and retro. It was definitely better to sit and watch someone play than sitting and watching on XenoTube. There was this one boss that looked like a giant purple worm with laser beams coming out of its mouth. Thorn dodged its bullets left and right before finally landing the finishing blow. “Nice shot!” I exclaimed. “Thanks.” Thorn grunted, “You want to try?” I hesitated for a moment before accepting the challenge. I took the phone from Thorn. The controls felt clumsy at first, but soon enough, I found my rhythm. I ran circles around the worm, dodging its attacks and firing off shots whenever I had the chance. With a mighty roar, I landed the killing blow. The creature went spiraling into oblivion. Thorn and I cheered in triumph.

“Not bad, you have a system at home?” Thorn asked.

“Not one from this side of the universe,” I replied. “I used to have a Playbox Five before we left earth.” “No such thing here,” said Thorn.

“Guess we’re lucky to have each other,” I said.

“Maybe,” Thorn grunted. “But don’t get too attached, I eat humans.” I jumped back. “Seriously?” “Only if I’m really hungry,” Thorn laughed, revealing a row of sharp teeth. “I don’t cook though.” “Good to know.” Thorn and I looked up at Melanie and Eris, hands on hips both with evil smiles on their faces.

“Um, what’s going on?” I asked.

“We’re discussing our next experiment,” Melanie purred. “What?”

“Melly and I have formed an alliance,” said Eris.

“A collaboration,” said Melanie.

“A common interest.”

“With common goals as vested magical girl scientists.”

Thorn had a look of utter horror on his face. “Oh no.”

“What?” I said. “What’s going on?”

“They didn’t become enemies at all, they became...” Eris and Melanie giggled. “Best friends forever! Mua ha ha ha ha!” I groaned in despair. This day couldn’t possibly get any worse. The door blew off its hinges and flipped over, knocking the desk into the wall leaving a massive hole. Such unhinged use of violence and I could feel the aura of raw, heated rage of its owner who stood in the doorway.

“Where is she?!” a voice roared. From the cloud of dust kicked up by the destructive entrance, a figure emerged. It was a small girl with brown-orange skin, with hot glowing eyes, hair and a glowing aura around her.

“Oh no, it’s Tara,” said Thorn.

“Who’s Tara?” I asked. Before I could answer, Tara stomped her foot on the floor creating cracks that spread outward. Her anger radiating off her like a sun. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I put up my hands. “Calm down and tell me what’s going on?”

“Like you could even relate!” she said.

“But why are you so angry?” “Someone stole my class notes!” she cried. “All of my hard work, gone!” “What are you talking about?” Tara’s hot eyes found Eris.

“You... that was your purple antenna I saw outside the door!” In a blur, Tara grabbed Eris by her top.

“I— I can explain.” Iris shivered. “I needed your notes for some inspiration on an experiment I did today, which failed, but it was just one of—“ Tara narrowed her eyes. “Give my notes back.” “I would but... um... something happened.” Tara’s eyes glowed brighter. “What, Did, You, Do?” “Funny thing about those notes, they were elementary. But then a miscalculation—“ Tara lifted Eris off the ground by her neck. “What did you DO?!”

Eris’s antenna glowed and tried to move Tara’s hand but it was no use. Eris’s telekinesis couldn’t overcome Tara’s raw strength.

I turned towards Melanie. “Aren’t you going to do something?”

Melanie shook her head. “Against a Star Elf? No way! I don’t want to become a pancake like that wall.” “But what about Eris?”

Melanie shrugged. So much for the best friends forever alliance.

I approached Thorn. He turned his attention back to his video game. He kept busy and didn’t want anything to do with this. With no sign of Professor Oren returning, there were only seconds before Eris got cooked by this hot elf.

I looked up at Eris, who grimaced as Tara’s grip tightened.

“Help...” she cried. But what can I do? I don’t have any powers like she does. I have no weapons or anything that can stand up to Tara. I barely survived the last encounter with Melanie and Eris, and they were only teasing. “Tell me!” Tara demanded.

“Help me, Thane,” cried Eris.

I bit my lip as Eris called out my real name, for the first time.

Damn it Eris. So what does a normal teen guy do when a hot, super-powerful teen girl is angry? He runs away, right? Yeah, he’s supposed to run away as quickly as he can.

No guy wants a girl who can bench more than him. Maybe a girl who can bench a few more pounds more is fine. But a girl who can bench a few more tons makes her very dangerous to be around.

But I’m the hooman of the school, according to Eris.

I reached up behind Tara and did the only human thing I could think of in this situation.

I hugged her.

Tara was very upset that those notes got lost. They were very important to her. She cares a lot about school, and she works hard. I’d be angry if I lost all my work too.

As I embraced her, I winced. Oh crap, I probably should have thought it through before embracing a fiery hot elf girl.

Tara’s body temperature was scalding. My eyes watered as I squeezed tighter. “I’d get angry too if I spent all that time doing notes and someone stole them,” I whimpered.

Tara looked at me, glowing eyes widening. “You would?”

Her body temperature rose higher and my uniform started to burn, then it reached my skin. I gritted my teeth and kept on hugging as if my life depended on it.

“It’s hard work, ugh, and I’m sorry Eris did that to you, if I had known, I’d stop her. Please calm down, and let me help.”

She looked at Iris again, took a breath and dropped Eris like a sack of potatoes. I let go and fell to the ground, my shirt and tie burnt through, and yeah, looks like I got burnt up pretty bad.

What a way to go. Mom, Dad, it looks like I won’t even make it through the first day of school.

As my vision blurred, Tara turned to me and knelt down. Her aura has since calmed, her eyes and hands still glowed. She reached out towards my face. I winced, expecting a mega-ton slap across the face to finish me off. Instead, she caressed it, then placed her palm on my bare chest.

Her hand felt so warm and comforting. The warmth spread through my body and soon, my vision cleared. I felt much better and healed. The burns on me vanished.

After that, she stopped glowing and now looked like just any other elf. Tara was really short, like a gymnast with blonde hair and blue eyes. She would pass off as a fit cheerleader without much significance. But no one would have thought she could do what she did, at least I wouldn’t. People probably underestimate her all the time because of her short stature.

“Are you alright?” Tara asked. Her voice still held strong, but no longer had explosive mirth.

“Yeah,” I said, looking at my arms and torso. “You can heal too?”

Tara nodded.

I got back up to my feet as Tara glared at Eris, who was still crying and shaking in fear.

I should feel vindicated, Eris deserved what she got for being so impulsive and wrong. But I found myself walking up to her, and holding my hand out to her, as I watched tears run down her face.

“Are you alright Eris?” I asked her.

For a moment, Eris’s eyes glistened and her four antennae drooped. But then she smiled at me, this time, it was a genuine smile.

“Thanks, Thane,” she said, in a completely humbled tone. “You didn’t have to do that.”

I shrugged. “It’s fine, I mean I might be a little weird.” Eris snapped back to her feet and crossed her arms.

“What do you mean a little weird?” Eris had already reverted to her old self again after a solid six seconds. “You’re like the most boring hooman ever!”

“All I’m supposed to do is just sit here and read books and learn stuff at school.” Eris let out a loud snort. “Nah, that’ll be too easy for you. You’re going to be an assistant to all of our experiments. The most boring assistant.” I tiled my head. “What?”

Eris smirked. “You’re the most boring hooman ever. But, boring hoomans like you are more exciting than everyone else.”

Melanie smirked. “In other words, you’re the only human here. So, by definition, you’re the most boring and exciting human. That also means you’re a lot of other things, right Tara?” Tara folded her arms. “Maybe. I’m just glad he helped calm me down when everyone else couldn’t.”

The three girls now all glared at Thorn. Now that I think about it, Orcs were pretty tough and strong too, weren’t they?

“Huh?” Thorn looked up from his phone and looked around. “What? Did I miss something?” Melanie shook his head.

“So, when can you begin helping me?” asked Tara. “The assignment is due tomorrow.”

“We can start whenever you’re ready.” I told her. “We have the same course and assignments, right?”

For the first time, Tara smiled. She floated a couple inches in the air. “Yes. Professor Oren teaches a couple classes. But right now, I’m hungry.” “Then it’s time for a Meshburger!” declared Melanie.

“Yasss!” Eris chirped. “A Meshburger peace mission!” “I love Meshburger,” said Tara. “Do you want one Hooman?” “Um, sure, but my name is Thane.”

“Oh, right. In the meantime, you should get started on the notes and I’ll bring you food,” Tara’s eyes shifted down and stared. “And... a new shirt. Since last year, so many changes have been happening to me. It’s so hard to control all of that.” I grinned. “It’s cool. And Free food and a shirt for me? Sounds like a good deal.”

Better to have someone else’s meat cooked than my own to be honest.

“You coming Thorn?” asked Melanie.

Thorn grunted. “Meshburger, always Meshburger.”

He got up and everyone left, leaving me alone in peace. Who thought my problem solving skills combined with impulsiveness would come in handy? They must have been passed down from my father’s project management genes and my mother’s go-getter genes. Thank you, for giving me the power to calm down and make peace with superpowered aliens.

What am I saying? I’m an alien too.

Professor Oren returned and dropped his books on the floor looking at the room in horror.

“What is the meaning of this? Where is everyone? And, Mr. Phillips, your shirt.” He spoke in an ominous tone, his whiskers twitching.

I turned around. The room was a complete mess with craters in the wall and floor. Then I looked at my shirt or what was left of it which showed my bare chest towards the professor.

“Ah,” I greeted nervously, realizing that the professor’s attention was squarely on me, the only person at the scene of the crime. Professor Oren walked over to me, his eyes narrowed. “Care to explain?” I shook my head quickly. “Well, I mean, stuff happened, and I had to calm things down and...” My face flushed and got hot. Oh God, those words didn’t come out the way I wanted.

“And where did everyone else go?” he asked.

“They went out for food,” I said. Professor Oren’s eyes lit up. “So, they just left and you didn’t stop them? Even though I forbade you all to leave?” “I um, stopped them from hurting each other and I was the peacemaker.”

“I see,” he said coldly. “When are they coming back?” “They didn’t tell me. They promised to bring me back food and a shirt.” He pulled out a broom and handed it to me. “Until they return, if they return, you will do all the cleaning tonight, Mr. Phillips.”

“But, Professor, all of this will take me hours to clean and I can’t repair the wall and floors.”

“Then you better hope your friends return, until then, you’ll have to learn this lesson for them. Considering your physical condition, I’d say you’re more than capable.”

After today, my new friends wouldn’t forget their one and only ‘Hooman’ would they? My hand palmed my face when I realized something. I could have avoided all of this just by having Tara clean up everything before she left. She had super speed and she was super strong. She would have this all done in a minute or two, as long as she didn’t lose her cool again.

“And Mr. Phillips,” said Professor Oren. “Yes?”

“I still expect that assignment to be handed in tomorrow.”

Looks like I’ll be pulling my first all-nighter, at school. I’m just a hard working, underclassed student who will always be there for my friends.

Mom and dad would be proud, at least until they heard this story from Oren. Then, I’ll be grounded, unable to fly.

Great, just freaking great.